Let there be (postseason) Football!

Ladies and Gentlemen, this is the time of year that every fan dreams of. However, only fans of certain teams get to enjoy the euphoric sensation of celebrating with their teams. Last post, I mentioned that teams were fighting to make the cut and gain a spot on the docks. Well, this week the teams have been set. And let me tell you, it was a fight to the finish. First, let’s look at the four teams that are taking a week long cruise before arriving at the Lombardi Kingdom:

The Broncos have found a way to enjoy this week, though it is quite unique. While yes, they are cruising calmly to the Kingdom, the offensive players have taken a detour to Peyton Manning’s brain. Yes, that’s right, they are all just as confused as us, but hey, if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it!
The Patriots have also found themselves enjoying the cruise but they are going about it in a much different way. Tom and Gisele have brought an entourage of supermodels on their boat and…wait a second, why is Miss Katherine there? Shouldn’t she be consoling AJ?
The Seahawks are arriving by hovercraft, some ridiculous contraption that Merlin came back with after his time-traveling adventures. However, Pete (Merlin) and Russell (Arthur) are hoping to hoist the elusive trophy and take over dominion of the Magical Realm.
And finally, the Panthers are arriving by hanging on to the cape of Superman himself, Cam Newton. Without his lengthy cape tails, this team would be looking at the first overall pick in the NFL Draft this April. And man would that be an awful feeling.

But! There are four fights at the island to the west, an island set up to determine who has the right to play the elite teams of the NFL. To start it all off, we have the Chiefs trying to tame the Wild Colts. Look for a slugfest on the field and bitter temperatures outside for the losing fans to have to deal with on their trips home. Indoors, the Colts will be banking on their rowdy side, as well as the leadership of their young QB to lead them past the strong Chiefs.
Later that night, out on the eastern tundra, the Saintly Dwarf King will lead his team against the high-flying Eagles. One one side, you have a team that has experience in big games, having won the Lombardi a few years ago. On the other side you have the Witch King of Philly trying to prove that he is more than an almost National Champion coach. However, the key could be whether or not the Dwarf King has discovered how to deal with the elements outside of his mountain (the super dome).

Then, the next day the Bengals attempt to thwart the power of Zeus and dampen the striking power of the Chargers. And who better to run that offense then the fastest ball slinger in the realm, Mr. Rivers. Meanwhile the Ginger will be helping the Bengals and looking for his big targets and speedy skill players. If the Bengals get up in the game, don’t expect them to just run the clock out, we all know gingers don’t have souls!
And finally to round out the action, we have a Week One rematch between the discount double-checks and the McDonald’s spokespersons. Yes Sir Colin leads his team back into the Frozen Tundra up North to take on all of the Crazy cheese heads. On one side we have the pass heavy offense of the Pack Attack, and on the other, the bruising offense of the Golddiggers.

Should be a great week, just sit back, relax, and let the odds only favor the team you want. But remember, it’s only loony if your team is losing!

Author: Eric

Aloha Sports Fans! My name is Eric and I have been friends with Blaine ever since he moved to my home town in eighth grade. Together we sat around talking and bouncing opinions off of each other about everything sports related. So when he started this website, I was a big advocate and now a writer. While Blaine covers the majority of the content, including everything serious, I like to give a satirical outlook on the weeks as they go by and some of the more peculiar things that happen during the season. And yes, there is definite research and football knowledge behind my posts, it just shows up in bizarre forms as the Magical Realm of the NFL took shape last year. Finally, just because it is fun to brag, I dominated the expert predictions last year and you can follow my certain fall from grace this season on that page as well.

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