Most Influential Additions and their Superpowers

Every year, the Kingdoms in the Realm make additions to their ranks that can either help or hurt them. These additions come from a multitude of different ways, most notably the Draft and trading. This week, with two weeks left before the twelve best ship out to the Lombardi Kingdom, let’s take a look at which members of the teams at the dock made their team that much better and just how they did it.

 

First, the AFC:

Denver: Obviously, this team would be significantly worse without Peyton Manning, but their biggest addition to the team has got to be the reappearance of Knowshon Moreno. His powers of invisibility kept him out of the spotlight for the last few years, but now, on the strength of his Tears of Might, he is using waterpower to break through the lines of the defense and have his best season yet, keeping pressure off of Manning.

New England: Again, Tom Brady is the clear star of this team, and again, their newest addition is a running back that has proven to be useful both through the air and on the ground. Shane Vereen’s teleportation powers allow him to get downfield in a hurry, and mixed with his other power of Sticky-hands, Vereen has proven to be an effective weapon for Sir Tom.

Cincinnati: A man from the Carolina’s, Giovanni Bernard has proven to be the explosive factor that the Bengals needed to propel them to yet another good season. His fire boost and leaping abilities have helped him blast past the defenses all year and has led him to be a key to their success. Honorable mention on this team goes to the man with the Power of the Ginger: Mister Andrew Dalton!

Indianapolis: For the Colts, it is hard not to say that second year quarterback Andrew Luck is not their star player. His slingshot ability to throw the ball anywhere is certainly beneficial to the success they are having. However, their greatest beneficiary has been the wonderful Trent Richardson. His Disappearing Powers have helped keep the team at the top of the Division by not having him on the field.

Kansas City: This time, we are not going to talk about a single darn player. Instead, the Chiefs greatest acquisition was finding Andy Reid and his Brain. The mental power that the man-walrus has is astounding and he has found ways to utilize all of the weapons on both sides of the ball. Look out Zen Master, Coach Reid may be taking your placeat the top of the most intelligent coaches list. Introducing UberMind WalrusMan!

Baltimore: Finally, we come to the reigning champs who have found their way into the playoff hunt yet again. Their newest addition uses the power of dreds to create dreadful destruction on the defenses of the other kingdoms. Two weeks ago, he destroyed the Viking invasion of Baltimore by twirling and catching the ball in the endzone with few seconds left. Marlon Brown and his dreds are a devastating force.

 

Now for the NFC:

Seattle: Although Russell Wilson is in the same boat as Luck as far as receiving recognition here, it is the disappearing act that Golden Tate’s ego has done this season that has been most influential on the Seahawks run this year. His power of Hubris did nothing for them last year, but this year Tate is less of a threat to feel the need to celebrate extensively and cost his team points. The man had talent hidden under the huge Hubris after all.

New Orleans: The Dwarf King under the Dome and his magical companion (Sean Payton) have done wonders after a year apart from each other. As such, their aerial attack has been strengthened yet again, this time with the addition of Kenny Stills: a.k.a Stills that Kills. His deep threat ability and reliability has made him a favorite of the King Under the Dome.

Philadelphia: The Eagles are the second team that will be giving the nod of most influential to their coach, although a very close second is Nick Foles. Saint Nick gets too much credit around this time of year, so we thought we would recognize Chippy the Kid whose offense has caused panic attacks for defensive coordinators this season. Chippy the Kid hoped to make a statement this season and he has certainly delivered on that goal.

Chicago: Another team that owes their season to their coach, the Bears have found success behind the Canadian Mad Scientist they call a coach. Trestman (who actually hails from the ice lands of Minneapolis) has brought his craziness from the CFL to the NFL and it has certainly delivered. He also shows an unwavering ability to be honorable and loyal…just ask Jay Cutler.

Carolina: This could possibly be the easiest pick to make of all of the teams in the Playoff Picture. This team has lived and died by their newest starting quarterback: Superman. However, last year Superman played more like Clark Kent…but this year, this year he is back! Cameron Newton has used his super powers to find himself, and his team, in the hunt for the Lombardi.

San Francisco: Adding the dynamic Anquan Boldin from the Ravens was a nice touch for the team that lost to Baltimore in last year’s Super Bowl. However, this team owes its success to first time year-long starter, Colin Kaepernick. Using the power of Vowels, Kaepernick has multipies his stats by five to climb back into the playoff hunt after a horrendous start to this season. He hopes to send Candlestick out on a good note this week and keep his team in the hunt to achieve their goals.

Author: Eric

Aloha Sports Fans! My name is Eric and I have been friends with Blaine ever since he moved to my home town in eighth grade. Together we sat around talking and bouncing opinions off of each other about everything sports related. So when he started this website, I was a big advocate and now a writer. While Blaine covers the majority of the content, including everything serious, I like to give a satirical outlook on the weeks as they go by and some of the more peculiar things that happen during the season. And yes, there is definite research and football knowledge behind my posts, it just shows up in bizarre forms as the Magical Realm of the NFL took shape last year. Finally, just because it is fun to brag, I dominated the expert predictions last year and you can follow my certain fall from grace this season on that page as well.

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