Fantasy Football Diary 3: “Anddd… boom goes the dynamite”

Courtesy of

Courtesy of

What a way to begin the new season of fantasy football. Let me just run down what happened last week to somehow give me the win…

1. I watch as my “super sleeper”, Julius Thomas, goes for 23 points on my bench. No, I wasn’t going to start him outright anyway, but still, it kind of sucks to know you could have had those points.

2. A.J. Green lights it up and I’m feeling good.

3. The Silly Hats Club suddenly starts putting up points in large numbers (more below). I begin sobbing.

4. Heading into the Monday Night slate, I was down by nearly 40 points with LeSean McCoy and Randy Bullock to play, but Silly Hats had Alfred Morris left. Still sobbing.

5. A little trash talking comes in from the Silly Hats camp.

6. McCoy has a ridiculous game as he is one of three players (Shane Vereen, Terrelle Pryor and McCoy) to rush for over 100 yards in Week 1.

7. Alfred Morris, with two fumbles, does nothing of value and I sit only about 3 points behind Silly Hats somehow.

8. Randy Bullock begins play, Houston looks awful.

9. Houston mounts a comeback with a couple touchdowns, meaning about two points for me, and then Bullock misses a 51-yard field goal that would have won the game for the Taggerungs.

10. Text message from Silly Hats Club: “And a huge miss by bullock! Oh he’s gonna be regretting that one ladies and gentlemen!” – Notice the sass.

11. Houston attempts another field goal, Bullock makes it, but San Diego committed a penalty resulting in a first down. Houston scores and I am now down by 0.7 points. I get another text message: “No field goal for you!”

12. Some 40 minutes later, Houston has gotten the ball back, is driving and then as time runs out Bullock lines up, kicks it, and like an eagle, majestically scouring beyond the storied caps of the Rockies, the ball carefully split the uprights.

13. I send the text message: “Anddd… boom goes the dynamite”

14. Silly Hats response? – “Unf—ingbelieveable” – We haven’t talked since.

For those missing out on my “dynamite” reference…

Ahh… sweet victory! The Taggerungs are now 1-0 after putting up a great performance in Week 1. Now the pressure is on to continue this roll and continue to play as what the Taggerungs are… “the team of destiny”.

The All Pro League is an elite fantasy football league with traditional scoring, plus a couple points for returns, 200+ yards rushing and 400+ yards passing. We start QB, RB, RB, WR, WR, WR, TE, K, DEF and have a seven player bench. If you would like to know more about the Taggerungs and the league as a whole, consult last week’s pregame post.

It’s a little early to pick out favorites this season and, frankly, 1-0 or 0-1 doesn’t mean a whole lot at this point, but nonetheless, here’s what going on across the mighty All Pro League. Screen Shot 2013-09-15 at 10.51.25 AM

The big news for the Taggerungs this week is a rash of early season injuries. Running back was my weakest position following my draft with only DeMarco Murray and LeSean McCoy being starters. McCoy I have backed up with Bryce Brown and I drafted Vick Ballard, Giovani Bernard and Shane Vereen for depth. I wasn’t too concerned though until Vereen was placed on IR with designated return (can come back in Week 11) and Ballard was lost for the season in practice on Thursday. Giovani Bernard may be a monster in the future, but he isn’t a great fill-in right now.

So, I decided to cash in on Michael Vick. After having a great 25 point game last week, I was sitting with Vick and Matt Ryan. Vick, while electric, is an injury risk who wouldn’t benefit me much on the bench anyway and without Vereen and Ballard, I desperately needed depth. So, I called on the Gamemakers and worked out a trade swapping Vick and Falcons running back, Steven Jackson. Quarterback was a need for the Gamemakers with Russell Wilson there (Wilson isn’t bad, but doesn’t have the ceiling of Vick and the “Chip Kelly offense”). I take on an aging, but effective running back who can fill-in for injuries and the upcoming bye weeks. In the process, I also dropped Ballard and Vereen for Saints receiver Kenny Stills and Rams quarterback Sam Bradford. Some would argue that you don’t need to have a second quarterback on your roster, but the All Pro League stock piles backups at all positions, so after Bradford, the quarterback market was pretty bare (Geno Smith… Christian Ponder…etc.). So, the new and improved Taggerungs, aka “Team of Destiny”, is as follows.

Screen Shot 2013-09-15 at 11.27.10 AM

Last Week

I was victorious against the Silly Hats Club, 124.06 – 121.48, in a dramatic, to the wire, finish. The big scorers for the Silly Hats were Reggie Bush, Brian Hartline and then Matthew Stafford. Bush and Hartline were a bit of a surprise for me. I expected more from Stafford honestly.

The Taggerungs performed well, but T.Y. Hilton and Kyle Rudolph were surprisingly quiet. Rudolph is suffering from “Inept Quarterback Syndrome” right now and Hilton was just seemingly ignored. I don’t know if Rudolph will recover, but I expect Hilton to make some noise in the coming weeks much like Randall Cobb did last season. A.J Green and Cobb are must starts, as is McCoy. I expect Matt Ryan to play even better as the year progresses and Murray, when healthy and the Cowboys utilize him, is very talented.

Overall, this was one for the history books as the “Team of Destiny” continues on course. Unfortunately for Silly Hats Club, they ultimately finished with the third highest point total in the league, losing to the team with the second highest point total for Week 1 (first were the Taggerungs’ arch-nemesis, The Trumpeting Platypi with 129.48).

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This Week

This week is against Hernandez is my body guard, formerly known as TheDyslexicDominatrixes in, obviously, our first matchup of the season. Body guard has some talent across the roster who should make this a tough matchup. Andrew Luck is going against an underrated Miami defense, but Luck is still a solid, verging on great, quarterback.

Matt Forte is playing against a Vikings team that gave up around 45 points to the Lions running backs and Forte should be utilized in the run and pass game like Reggie Bush and Joique Bell were last week. Lamar Miller is in a great matchup, but needs to prove that he can perform at any level after his awful performance last week.

Calvin Johnson is in a great matchup for football fans against Cardinals cornerback, Patrick Peterson. Mike Wallace and Chris Givens are two more speed receivers looking to make an impact this week after doing little in Week 1. Vernon Davis is a major fantasy threat and the Patriots defense put up 16 points against the Jets.

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The Taggerungs have Matt Ryan, who is looking to stay standing this week after dealing with a lot of pressure last week in a loss to the Saints. LeSean McCoy is a must start even as he shares the ball more with Bryce Brown. I am going with Steven Jackson because it is too early to really gauge matchups (Kansas City played Jacksonville, who is awful, and St. Louis played against Arizona who isn’t known for a run game). I am going with Jackson because I think he plays very well against his former team. Jackson seems like one of those competitors.

The receivers are the same as last week. T.Y. Hilton is starting for me again because I think he is a factor this week. The Miami defense is good enough to limit Reggie Wayne and the run game (lacking Vick Ballard).

I’m rolling with Julius Thomas this week, hoping to ride his momentum from last week. The Giants can’t stop everyone in Denver and I think Demaryius Thomas, Wes Welker and Eric Decker may qualify as greater threats in their eyes.

Randy Bullock, the hero from last week, is still in there. I may try to upgrade, but time will tell. The Cardinals defense isn’t in a great matchup, but defenses are picked clean off the waiver wire and with Arizona at home, I like their chances to force turnovers and accumulate some sacks.

The points projection (courtesy of has me winning by 20 this week (134 – 116), but those projections don’t really mean much historically. I can only hope the warrior otters perform to their ability and pull out another win.

Am I taking this too seriously?


No I am not. funny-otter-evil-face2

Author: Blaine

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